I don't know everything. I want to. I try to. I can't. In fact, I know little. Why do I think I need to know everything, and be able to answer every question? No one knows the future. We don't even know an hour from now, or even two minutes from now. I feel the weight of all of my questions. I try to take them all on at once. Confusion and a sense of helplessness overwhelms. I am learning, I hope, I don't have to have the answers. Perhpas someday I will be able to answer more of them than I am able to at this moment.

However, it is at this very moment I am deciding not be weighed down and ask the Lord to "examine me, and know my heart; test me, and know my thoughts. See if there is in me any hurtful way, and lead me along the eternal way" (ps. 139.23-24) and trust "ADONAI will fulfill His purpose for me. Your grace ADONAI, continues forever. Don't Abandon the work of Your hands!". (ps. 138.8)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1bSlS6OWTs
Come Thou Fount by Sufjan Stevens

The Shelter a.k.a. L'Abri

I was talking to my uncle at our family Christmas get together, and he started talking about something that sounded interesting, inviting, and right up my alley. Francis Schaeffer, a name I was not familiar with at the time, started L'Abri in 1955 in Switzerland where he and his family were living at the time.

After talking with him about it I started researching L'Abri. There are 11 locations worldwide, 2 of which are in the US. There are locations in England, Germany, Holland, Australia, a few other countries one of them being, can you guess? Canada! British Columbia, Canada no less!

I'm going! I sent them my deposit and plan on being there for the 2 month summer session. Half (4 hours) of the work day will be spent working doing stuff such as cooking, gardening, laundry, and other work to help keep up the property. The other half of the day will be spent listening to lectures, studying, etc. There will be time for discussion over meals and during other times. I am extremely excited!!

http://labri.org/canada/index.html This is the link. Check it out if you feel like it. The above pictures are from this site, and there are a lot more. The property is on an island about a 20 minute ferry ride from Vancouver. Absolutely beautiful from the pictures I've seen. A great place to take pictures with my new camera. :)

I didn't see this coming. I am really glad this is what I am going to be doing.

"The art that I create now is of a whole new realm. My purpose is not to create an escape, but to create expression that grounds me and the audience into our true existence, one that is rooted in the earth, and consequently, in our purpose here. We need to get out of ourselves, but not into someone or something else. We need to see the beauty of this world, the beauty of challenge and hardship and the Divine Providence that is happening every moment. It’s all blessing. We are living the good life."

Taken from Making Dignity My Art by Judy Ammar

http://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/1408257/jewish/Making-Dignity-My-Art.htm

Does anything help the sting of pain and suffering in life? What about that dull feeling that makes it near impossible to partake in the other joys and wonderful things all around? This gray dullness being what is present when the penetrating sting isn't currently felt? The gray remains. Where is the happiness, joy, color and life in their lives? Why can't things 'get better'?

My 'getting better' isn't necessarily what the Lord considers getting better. If it were me I would take the pain away, but would I really? I would like to, but I believe that everything is from the Lord, therefore, everything has meaning. From the greatest joy to the deepest sorrow. Easy for me to say, right? I haven't myself personally experienced the pain of loss that so many in the world have, that people I love have. If everything is from Hashem, as I believe it is, I need not entertain the thoughts of making life 'easier'. This is hard as I still want to. I have to trust Him.

I love you.




‎"All the days of our lives we must continue to deepen our sense of mystery in order to be worthy of attaining faith. Callousness to mystery is our greatest obstacle"

God in Search of Man
Heschel

lactose intolerant

i posted some pictures from rosh hashanah that i had forgotten about. i worked on them for a good chunk of my afternoon, but when i posted them they weren't big enough. i will consult my photoshop savvy friends and try to sort this out. until then...