Saturday, June 18, 2011

I am overwhelmingly encouraged by the fact that the LORD knows me. He knows what interests me, He knew who the best person to set up as my Tutor, He knows how to guide and direct my path. He waits patiently for me to realize the things about me that He already knows. I am the one who has tried to study, follow, and believe what other people are studying, learning, and believing. I’ve realized that I need to read and pursue the topics that touch me deeply and move me. As I do that I will, hopefully, learn what it is that He has for me to learn. Be it about Him, people, or the world around me. Creation is full of things to know. I believe there are different times to learn different things. I have tried to jump onto the paths of others and learn what they are studying. I find what they are in to interesting and see them as things I would like to know, but often times I become burned out by trying to study what isn’t mine to study yet. I have been, and if I am honest with myself still can be, too concerned with what other people think about me, what they think about what I enjoy, what I choose to spend my time pursuing, etc. So my study and my life becomes what other people are pursuing, and I am no closer to knowing me, what I truly enjoy, and how the LORD created me. There are more things to study and learn than I will ever be able to. I have to be okay with that. Otherwise I might go crazy. As it is, I am feeling more and more healed as each day goes on, and I am more affirmed in who I am, in who I was created to be. I am by no means perfect, nor do I ever think I will reach perfection. The LORD is Beautiful. He is Incredible. He is Loving. He is Just. Righteous. He is more than I will ever be able to know. Hmm…I think I need to let that last part sink in and take root.

I am excited. I am reading fairy tales, the Bible, a book about Christian Mythmakers, and today was lent a community college textbook on western heritage.