The mittens are exciting, but honestly most of you already know about them and have seen them. There is so much more than mittens going on in life right now.

I don't know if people will believe me when I talk about the difference of who I was and who I am. I was very good at wearing a mask and slipping past the hard questions (even the easy ones). I was afraid I would give the "wrong" answer. Far too long I have made the opinions of others my own. Their colors of choice my I made my colors, their likes and dislikes were my likes and dislikes. I was afraid people wouldn't like me for me. I have done this since childhood to a degree, and it only became worse with time. My parents separated when I was 16 1/2. At the beginning of summer following my sophmore year. This affected me deeper than I knew. At the same time my best friend, who had been by my side for about two years and helped me through some crap, wasn't there anymore. I had to be strong for my sisters, my mom, but who would be strong for me? I trusted in the L-rd. I thank Him for His strength during that time. I still didn't have what I needed though.

My junior and senior years were lived in a self-imposed solitude. I hung out with people some, but I basically turned people down and made excuses to not hang out. Then when I would hear classmates talking about the awesome weekend they had and I would feel hurt, jealous and wonder why they didn't invite me. My voice was gone and I didn't even know it.

I put on a good mask, and while all of me wasn't fake I wasn't very deep. (I don't mean in the sense of being profound.) As I said earlier, if I stalled long enough a distraction would come along and people would forget I was asked a question. I tried to create a safe environment around myself, but instead I built walls so high there was little light, little true joy, and fewer genuine smiles were seen on my face. There were, however, plenty of plastic smiles.

Some dear friends told me about BreakThrough (BT) last summer. It wasn't until this winter that I finally became fed up with how I was living. I knew I wasn't the real me. That burden became heavier every day. I had to do something about it. I felt that BT was probably the key. At least a key. The week before BT 1 another dear friend shared with our small group a vision that she had of me. I was a ballerina spinning and spinning. The L-rd wanted me to stop. I stopped spinning then I started leaping. She asked how I was supposed to stop spinning, and the L-rd said, "Breakthrough". She then heard Him say, "Sing forth" or "Sing out". It was a "be loud" message. I went in to BT expecting only a little to happen. I half expected it to be like other seminars that I have been to in the past. I was wrong. Talk about deep healing. I left BT 1 with little emotion about it. I was excited for BT 2 which was a gruelling 10 days away. My friend heard the truth. BreakThrough has been key for me, and it isn't over yet. I have an amazing support group made up of the other BT attendees, as well as those in my community. We have become so close to each other. It has been an incredible honor to be trusted with their fears, their pain, their joys, and being able to see who them grow. Realizing who they are and throwing out the lies. I'm excited for myself. I am also excited for all of them. I'm glad we don't have to go at it alone! A month from yesterday I go back for BT 3! To collect more tools to live as a free, real, adventurous princess.

Something incredible happened from March 24 - March 28 at BreakThrough seminar #2. I met a very important person. Her name? Allison Joy Welton.


I would recommend BreakThrough to everyone. Without a doubt.

This is just the beginning of my story. A few quick pictures of how I used to be. A lot happened during those 4 1/2 days. A lot has changed. I have found my voice.

Heart Connexion Ministries www.heartconnexion.org

Dr. Paul Fitzgerald www.graceconnexion.org

You might not believe how excited I was/am about the mitten contest I entered. I was so excited when I entered it, and I couldn't wait until the next Monday when we were supposed to find out who won. Well, Monday came and went. I checked the Cafe Cartolina blog with bated breath. There was a list of names. What is this?! Is that my name?! I was in a slight state of shock. As a result of this shock I checked the blog address next to my name 2 or 3 different times. Sure enough. It was me. Allison - allisonjw.blogspot.com. I WON A PAIR OF MITTENS!!!!! 11 people were awarded a pair of the fun red Vancouver 2010 Maple leaf mittens. Do you want to see them? Ask me later....

JUST KIDDING!! I have stalled far too long to make anyone else wait to see the amazing mittens.

New post coming soon. Be ready. Be very ready.